WikiTheatre cast announced

Over the past few days we've been gathering together our company for WikiTheatre, and putting them through their paces as the new parts of the script were selected. We've now got our full company, and with rehearsals in full swing and one day to go - things are hotting up. Check out the talented bunch we've got together below, and don't forget to book your tickets for tomorrow: http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/nabokov-re-loaded

WIKITHEATRE

by James Graham, Jay Taylor and Lisa Caroll directed by Laura Keefe sound design by John Hoggarth

Carmen - Sofia Stuart Man - Mark Weinman Stephanie - Joan Iyiola Matthieu - James Rastall Luke - Leander Deeny Tim - Cian Barry

The final part of WikiTheatre has landed

So here we are...the final part of our brand new concept - WikiTheatre. We've had a ball reading all your brilliant responses to the scenes by James Graham and Jay Taylor and we hope you enjoy reading the final piece of the puzzle. So congratulations to our final writer, LISA CARROLL, who submitted the great piece below.

Enjoy reading, and don't forget we'll be presenting the entire play LIVE this Sunday, at NABOKOV RE-LOADED. We start at 4pm at Soho Theatre downstairs, with a really great line up and the chance to be the first to hear about all our new plans. We're also really keen to meet new faces and potential new collaborators.

Get your tickets to NABOKOV RE-LOADED using the link below:

http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/nabokov-re-loaded

Sweat

by Lisa Carroll

5 years later.

Luke is in the store cupboard at work sweating profusely, barely able to draw breath, pacing and shaking his arms. 

Fast – snappy:

Luke – Shitshitshitshitshitshit Shit SHIT shit shit

Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok shit

Shit ok shit

Ok. Ok. Ok.

[There’s a knock on the door.]

SHIT shit shit shit shit shit shit go away –

No no no no no no /no no no

Tim – Luke / what’re you

Luke – Don’t don’t don’t don’t no no / no no no no no

Tim – Luke / what’s

Luke – Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God / Oh God Oh God Oh God Oh God shit shit shit shit

Tim – LUKE, Jesus Christ / would you –

Luke – I can’t feel my arms I can’t do anything with Tim why can’t I feel my arms? Oh shit shit shit  shit on a shitting -

Tim – Luke, ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok calm calm down look at me ok calm down ok? LOOK AT ME

Luke – My arms I’ve I’m having a heart attack maybe I can’t feel them they’ve gone numb

Tim – You’re ok, okay? You’re ok? Breathe, take a breath, breathe, look at me, BREATHE

Luke – Ok, ok ok ok I yeah ok ok ok ok

Tim – Breathe

Like – Ok. Ok ok ok.              Ok.

Ok

Ok I’m breathing now

Tim – Ok

Are you ok?

Luke – No

Tim – Can you feel your / hands

Luke – Tingling

Tim – Ok.

Luke, what / happened–

Luke – No no no no no no no / no no no I I I I I I I

Tim – Ok, ok ok you don’t have to – just just stay calm / ok calm

Luke – [For breath control:] Hah, hah, hah, hah, hah, / hah, hah, hah hah.

Tim – Ok well let me know um

Let me know if you’re going to come out

Luke – Shit, no don’t, shit no don’t go Tim Tim Tim Tim

Tim – Um

Luke – One minute one minute ok? One minute

Tim – OK

Luke – They – it’s

I’m fine I’ll be out in a minute just stand there can you stand there ok

Tim – Sure. Ok.

Luke – Thank you

Tim – Do you want some water?

Luke – No no no, no thank you.

Tim – Ok. What / about

Luke – No. Just stand there. / Just let me

Tim – Yep. Ok. Okay.  Luke, what’s

Luke – Tess just called

Tim  – Tess?

Luke – Tess.

Tim – Shit.

Luke – Exactly. Exactly, so. This is it. This is it! It’s it. This. Exactly what we dreaded/ happening

Tim – No it –

Luke – No, it is, it’s happening and and and then suddenly I thought wow, oh my God, my life, my  my my house, my computer, Melissa, they’re all

Tim – No, I’m sure / it’s not

Luke – It is. We’re going into administration. That’s it. The final word.

Tim – So your

Luke – And yours. All of us. That’s it. End of the line. No more you, no more me, no more Durex, no           more nothing. SHIT shit shit shit shit –

Tim – Luke, BREATHE

Luke – Ok

Tim – Breathe

Luke – Ok.  Yes. I am.

Tim – Okay. So why –

Luke – Because no one’s fucking having sex anymore Tim is why, you fucking – we are completely  and utterly obsolete

Tim – But –

Luke – When was the last time you touched someone, Tim? When? Exactly. Let alone...you know

Tim – Right. Are you –

Luke – Well yeah I’m breathing now but I don’t feel any bloody better, no.

Tim – Ok. So what do we – is there anything we / can –

Luke – The board is coming in any minute now. Emergency meeting. I have to stand in front of  them in in in as soon as I get out of this closet basically

Tim – And say what?

Luke – Exactly. Help me. Tim, I need you to help me –

Tim – But I –

Luke – I know you’re not as stupid as you look, come ON, Tim

Tim – We need to – what – save the / whole flipping company?

Luke – Convince them not to – exactly. Come on Tim I’m clutching at fucking straws here. It’s your head on the chopping block next to mine. They’re out there, Tim, they’re out there.

Tim – Shit. Shit shit shit SHIT Luke

Luke – I KNOW. THINK TIM.

Tim – OK. Ok ok ok ok ok ok

Luke – THINK

Tim – OK – We need people to have sex. That that that therapy thing that that – it doesn’t – didn’t            work. Does it? They tried it and it didn’t work.

Luke – And, AND?

Tim – Luke, you’re the –

Luke – BUT I HIRED YOU TO THINK TO THINK FOR ME SO THINK, TIM OTHERWISE I  WILL FIRE YOU BEFORE THEY EVEN GET A CHANCE TO FIRE YOU

Tim – OKAY. Okay. Get them having sex. Make the people have sex. Make them want to have sex.             What’s nice about sex?

Luke – Nothing –

Tim – Right – nothing. So how do you get people to do what you know they don’t want to do – how             do you get them to do it anyway?

Luke – Okay... keep going...

Tim – Luke I don’t / know if I –

Luke – Tim, keep thinking or I will I will attach this this stapler to your balls, I can’t – I can’t lose –             Melissa – she’s  all I – I never even fucking got her insured I’m only half way through the payments –

Tim – I – I – Ok – Look, stop – just keep breathing – I’ll come up with something, don’t worry I’ll

Ok.

Incentive. Some kind of incentive.

Luke – RIGHT

Tim – Prizes or or or or

Luke – Prizes for  having sex

Tim – For buying the –

Luke – Like – like a scratch card or – or lucky – you know

Tim – They buy the condoms they’re in with a chance of

Luke – Yes – ok

Tim – So it’s like the benefits of buying them are more than.

Like you’re not just buying them just for sex

Luke – OR – or there’s

We do give out prizes for sex. Make sex. Make it cool again – touching cool again

Tim – How – how how how can we

Luke – Get – I don’t know get a pop star doing it or something hire people to

Tim – Hire people?

Luke – Well no not like

Tim – Like prostitutes?

Luke – Well yes but – well that died out but something – something / new

Tim – Luke, I don’t know if I –

I’m only a Junior member of

And the idea of – maybe

Maybe we can’t fight the pull of the tide?

You know?

Luke – You’re talking shit, Tim

Tim – Maybe if people don’t want to

Do that anymore

We should         leave them to it. And just         take the wrap.

It’s our ... time. To go.

Luke?

Luke?

Luke – This company is my life blood, Tim. And you need to help me find a way to keep it pumping.

Tim – Yeah, I just / feel a bit

Luke – If you don’t do this I will go to your house and I will take Laura and I will run my car over her face and make you watch as the screen cracks.

Tim – You –

Luke – I would.

So I need you to think. I need you to give me an idea I can pitch that I can go out there in one minute and pitch. Which will work

You need to get people buying condoms.

You need to get them having sex and liking it.

Think of Laura.

Tim – She’s all I

Luke – Exactly

Tim – She’s irrepl/aceable

Luke – Exactly.

Tim – Tim, you can’t

[Luke takes his car keys out of his  pocket and jingles them.]

Ok. So what you tell them is

Is this

You’re

You’re going to run a campaign

You’re going to get

Get uh

Luke – HURRY THE FUCK UP TIM

Tim – You’re going to get Miley Cyrus to make sex cool again by by by having loads of sex on TV

Luke – SHE ALREADY DID THAT AND PEOPLE HATED IT

Tim – You’re going to pay people to go out and have sex with people to remind people that sex is nice

Luke – THAT’S NOT WHAT PEOPLE WANT LUKE

Tim – NO  no no you you you’re going to to to to make sex make it – profitable

That’s it that –

Make it profitable

People don’t want sex they want money they don’t have sex because they’re too busy earning                               money but what if you can make it that the incentive to have sex is so high that they’re willing to                         brave it?

We’ll tell them if they buy our condoms we’ll  we’ll end world hunger or

Luke – No one gives a shit about world hunger they never fucking have, Tim, otherwise it’d be sorted            / by now – sweet Jesus come on they’re –

Tim – Ok ok ok OKAY

What about like the way that you – when you recycle bottles, right – you get like 5p a bottle

Luke – What the fuck are you talking about Tim / we have no time

Tim – Luke – what if like, what if for every used condom – like a bottle bank – for every time you    have sex every time you use a condom – you get – get 5p

Luke – That’s gross

Tim – Because you’ve –

Luke – Oh God I think I can hear / something –

Tim – Because you’ve helped / the world in a way –

Luke – They’re here I think they’re here –

Tim – And if – if you have enough – have enough sex – you win a car?

Luke – Tim that’s absolutely sick –

Tim – I know I’m sorry, Luke, but I

Luke – It’s sick

Tim – Luke I’m trying my best here to think of

Luke – I – fuck Tess is ringing me –

I think we should try it

Tim – The - ?

Luke – It’s like charity sex

Or kind of

Helping the world sex

Get your money back sex

Everyone loves cars

Tim – Luke do you think they’ll

Luke – This is the only thing we have, Tim

Tim – Luke, are you going to hurt / Laura?

Luke – Give me your jacket.

Tim – What?

Luke – Give me your jacket. Mine’s covered in sweat.

Tim – No, I

Luke – I will take a hammer to Laura’s face and hit and hit and hit til she cracks and then I will reach            my hand in and pull out the wiring now give me your jacket.

Thank you. Here

Tim – This is –

Luke – PUT IT ON

Now go. You’ve got a pitch to make

Tim – Me?

Luke – I don’t want them thinking it was my idea if they don’t like it

Tim – But I’m only –

Luke – Exactly so if they do like it don’t worry I’ll take credit

Tim – Luke, you’re

Luke – I don’t care what you think I am get out of this fucking stationary cupboard and go save this company before I get Tess to come and touch you.

Tim – Shit –

Luke – Touch you with her hands on your hands and if you REALLY piss me off she will touch your face

Tim – Shit shit shit shit shit shit

Luke – Breathe, Tim,

Tim – SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

Luke – Man up, Tim

Tim – Shit shit shit no no okay shit shit ok

Luke – GO

 

Blackout.

NABOKOV RE-LOADED LINE UP ANNOUNCED!

On Sunday 10th November from 4pm at Soho Theatre we're having a very special one off event to celebrate our relaunch, tell you all about our plans for the future, and share some of our favourite artists with you. And we want to meet all you actors, writers, directors and designers that are yet to cross our paths. We'll also be presenting our brand new concept - WikiTheatre! A play started by James Graham and then thrown open to the public, we'll have selected two further parts which we will present live at the event.

Check out the full line-up here, and get your tickets from:

http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/nabokov-re-loaded/

Here's some more info on the other great acts we'll have on offer:

JOE STILGOE www.joestilgoe.com

joestilgoe-249

Joe Stilgoe has performed at the Royal Albert Hall, Ronnie Scott's, The Queen Elizabeth Hall and many of the major jazz venues throughout the world, while in 2011 his debut at the Edinburgh Festival was an award winning show, attracting critical praise (5 Stars - The Scotsman). His latest album 'We Look To The Stars' was a critical and commercial success, reaching No.1 in the jazz charts. He has appeared on BBC TV and Radio in Never Mind The Buzzcocks, The Now Show, Loose Ends, The Horne Section, Parkinson's Sunday Supplement, Graham Norton on Saturday and Richard Madeley on Sunday, amongst others.

At nabokov Re-Loaded, Joe  joins us to perform some originals, a medley of all the songs you can think of and an improvised 3 minute musical.

"A truly remarkable singer songwriter, not to mention outstanding piano player....I thank you for creating that most exciting of moments when, as a lover of good music, you know you have seen and heard something remarkable".  Sir Michael Parkinson.

KATIE BONNA www.katiebonna.com

RWD13_Katie Bonna_002(sml)

Katie Bonna is a performance poet, playwright and actress. Her poetry play Dirty Great Love Story, co-written with Richard Marsh, won a Fringe First Award at the 2012 Edinburgh Fringe Festival, where she was also nominated for Best Actress by The Stage. It went on to run at Soho Theatre upstairs and then in New York as part of the Brits Off Broadway festival 2013. Other writing includes rapid response poetry piece Underlay (nabokov at Soho Theatre), one woman show The Celebrated Mrs Inchbald (Theatre Royal Bury St Edmunds and the U.S.); The Glass Tower (Red Handed Theatre Company) and Liquorice & Smoke-Rings (PULSE Festival). Katie is currently creating a new show I Love You 44% with nabokov's Joe Murphy, for which she is travelling back to her teenage years and facing the forgotten horrors and delights which lurk there. She has performed poetry at Latitude, Larmer Tree and Meadowlands festivals, appeared on Channel 4 as part of the Random Acts series and at nights including Hammer & Tongue, Apples & Snakes and Homework. 

Katie will be performing an extract from her new piece exploring what makes us stop. Using poetry, story-telling and other people's memories, the show is based on recorded interviews with women of all ages.

"A simply dazzling performance".  The Stage 

 

SARA MITRA www.saramitra.com

IMG_0199

Sara Mitra is a jazz singer, songwriter and bandleader.  Mitra’s debut album ‘April Song’ was launched at The Vortex Jazz Club and has garnered considerable critical acclaim since its release, with tracks played across Jazz FM, BBC Radio 1, 2, 3 and 6Music.

Playing a combination of eerie alt-folk murder-ballads, delicate originals and Leadbelly blues reworkings, at nabokov Re-Loaded Sara will be presenting work from her forthcoming second album, showcasing a powerful development in her vocal ability.

“Wisely wry…a refreshing mix of the real and romantic.” Jazzwise Magazine

“Her skill as a songwriter and honesty as a performer shine through on April Song.” Mercury Prize Recommends

“Especially talented” The Daily Telegraph

“Fresh sounding and free from cliche… Sara is left to her own special devices and nails a good melody everytime.” Blues and Soul Magazine

“When I heard the album, I immediately became a fan of her voice… Absolutely brilliant.” Jamie Cullum, BBC Radio 2

 

BOOK YOUR TICKETS FOR NABOKOV RE-LOADED HERE:

http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/nabokov-re-loaded/

Part two of WikiTheatre is here!

We're very pleased to announce the second part of WikiTheatre, and to publish it right here on the nabokov website. We had some really interesting submissions from a whole range of you, so thank you so much for your input and sharing your great ideas with us. So here it is, the second part of the first ever WikiScript! Congratulations to writer JAY TAYLOR, whose work we will now produce with James Graham's starting piece at NABOKOV RE-LOADED on Sunday 10th November at Soho Theatre. Enjoy reading, and get writing! We'll be looking forward to the final stage of responses coming in. The deadline is midnight on Wednesday 6th November, and we'll publish the next day.

http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/nabokov-re-loaded/

SAISEI

By

Jay Taylor

 

"Along with this rapid growth of forms of communication at our disposal - be it fax, phone, email, Internet or whatever - human solitude will increase in direct proportion." (Werner Herzog)

 

Scene 2

It is seven years later.

A version of "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus, arranged for a full concert orchestra, suddenly plays for five seconds and then snaps out as the lights snap up.

A man and a woman sit on what could be either a sofa or a bed.

The lighting is designed to be ’romantic’.

The man and woman are both approximately thirty.

The man is nervous, awkward, dressed in video gamer chic. He is constantly distracted by a tablet device which he holds delicately. This is MATTHIEU.

The woman is dressed impeccably in a business suit and Jimmy Choos. She is aloof, calm and

detached. This is STEPHANIE. Suddenly from speakers within the room we hear CARMEN’s voice in a soothing almost tranquil tone.

CARMEN

Welcome to SAISEI. Please relax and help yourself to refreshments. Your Setsuzoku session will begin shortly.

A pause.

MATTHIEU

What do we have to do.

STEPHANIE

I think we just sit here.

MATTHIEU

Sit here...

STEPHANIE

For now. I mean...

MATTHIEU

I don’t want to do touching. I don’t like the touching.

STEPHANIE

No...ok. That’s...

MATTHIEU

Just so you know, because it’s...

STEPHANIE

Honestly, I really...

MATTHIEU

...not my thing.

STEPHANIE

Right.

Stephanie sighs of boredom.

A pause.

You know my friend Eliza did one of these. She’s insanely hot and a buyer for Burberry, lives in a

penthouse in St. Katherine’s Docks and drives a Mercedes SLS. She’s 22. I mean WHAT?

Actually...WHAT?! But fucking perfect life, the absolute BITCH, but anyway, she said it was...

MATTHIEU

What?

STEPHANIE

...well she said, you know, she said it was fine.

They just...

MATTHIEU

What...they ’just’ what...?

STEPHANIE

Chatted. They talked.

MATTHIEU

Oh. Ok.

STEPHANIE

Because you can’t pass or fail. It’s not a test.

MATTHIEU

No. No that’s right. I think it’s...

STEPHANIE

It’s supposed to be...educational. You just have to stay for the allotted...time. Apparently there’s some sort of video.

MATTHIEU

Right.

Matthieu giggles childishly.

He presses a few buttons on his tablet device in a very caring manner.

MATTHIEU

(into tablet)

Hey, it’s me.

An American woman’s voice, obviously computer generated, replies.

COMPUTER VOICE

Hello, Matthieu! How are you feeling today?

MATTHIEU

Yeah, I’m ok. I’m fine. How are you?

COMPUTER VOICE

I’m so excited to spend time with you, Matthieu. You make me feel so happy!

Matthieu smiles.

STEPHANIE

Hey, uh...

MATTHIEU

(ignoring Stephanie)

Yeah. You make me happy, too. I miss you...

COMPUTER VOICE

I miss you, too.

STEPHANIE

You, uh...you’re...

MATTHIEU

(rudely)

Yes?!

STEPHANIE

You’re...not supposed to have your...thing...in here, you know? I think it’s...

CARMEN

(through speaker)

All electronic devices must be switched off before your Setsuzoku can begin.

STEPHANIE

Yeah, see?

MATTHIEU

Are you fucking serious?

STEPHANIE

I think the point of this is...

MATTHIEU

Is what?

STEPHANIE

...is that you don’t actually...bring your...Love...thing...

MATTHIEU

Love PLUS...it’s called Love PLUS.

STEPHANIE

Right. Yeah. Well...that’s sort of the reason that we’re here, isn’t it. If you were doing your job as a man, then...

Matthieu bursts into tears.

Stephanie rolls her eyes.

STEPHANIE

Oh god.

After a time, Matthieu stops crying.

MATTHIEU

(into tablet, sadly)

They’re making me switch off now. Sorry. I love you.

COMPUTER VOICE

I love you, Matthieu.

Matthieu huffs angrily and switches his tablet off.

Stephanie suppresses a laugh.

MATTHIEU

What?

STEPHANIE

Sorry. Nothing.

MATTHIEU

Is something funny?

STEPHANIE

No. No, nothing.

Matthieu stares at Stephanie. She laughs again.

I just...I’ll never understand it, that’s all.

MATTHIEU

No. You won’t.

STEPHANIE

It’s...not real.

MATTHIEU

She...is as real as you are.

STEPHANIE

Er, no...she is not, because she was programmed by some fat geek in Taiwan and I...am a human being.

Matthieu shakes his head disdainfully.

MATTHIEU

Barely.

STEPHANIE

Oh, charming.

MATTHIEU

I fucking hate people like you.

STEPHANIE

I can assure you, the feeling is entirely mutual.

(beat)

God. And they wonder why we’re not interested anymore. Jesus Christ. Look at the state of you. This is what men have been reduced to, is it? A barely evolved, cretinous man-child with a Mummy complex and a piece of...software for a girlfriend.

MATTHIEU

Why don’t you just fucking DIE!

STEPHANIE

Er, perhaps because unlike your current spouse I only get one life?

MATTHIEU

You don’t know anything about her.

STEPHANIE

No, but I could if I bought a fucking user manual, couldn’t I.

MATTHIEU

Oh...because...wearing five hundred pound shoes and driving a sports car...is so much better than...

(beat)

You’re fucked too. You’re a...part of it. You’re one of them...mendokusai.

A pause.

Stephanie looks uncomfortable.

A television in front of them flashes to life.

The picture is unseen by the audience, but we can hear the sound of a ’romantic’ scene. Pan pipe music, trickling water, all the usual clichés.

Matthieu and Stephanie both cringe.

MATTHIEU

What...

TELEVISION WOMAN

Hello. I’m Carmen.

TELEVISION MAN

And I’m William.

TELEVISION WOMAN

We’re here to talk to you about a problem that you may be aware of in our society...

STEPHANIE

Oh Christ.

MATTHIEU

Fuck. Fuck. They’re not gonna...

TELEVISION MAN

As you may know, celibacy levels have reached an all time high. Our country’s birth rate has more than halved in the past ten years.

TELEVISION WOMAN

People under the age of forty just aren’t interested in love, marriage or procreation anymore.

TELEVISION MAN

Why don’t people want to be intimate any more, Carmen?

TELEVISION WOMAN

I’ll tell you, William...but first...say hello to Julia. Perhaps the two of you can get to know each other...

TELEVISION MAN

Great idea.

It becomes clear that what Matthieu and Stephanie are watching progresses into a sex scene.

Matthieu looks horrified.

STEPHANIE

Are they fucking serious with this shit? Is this really supposed to...

MATTHIEU

What are they trying to do?

STEPHANIE

And they say we’re fucked up...

MATTHIEU

This is ridiculous.

STEPHANIE

Well that’s something we can agree on.

MATTHIEU

It’s just...unpleasant.

STEPHANIE

I didn’t think they did this anymore.

MATTHIEU

I know. It’s so...old fashioned. I mean...is that supposed to...

They stare in silence for a while.

STEPHANIE

So...safe to say you’ve never...?

She gestures to the screen.

MATTHIEU

(reluctantly)

Uh...well...yeah, once. Actually.

STEPHANIE

Yeah?

MATTHIEU

Yeah. I didn’t like it. Not one bit.

STEPHANIE

Well nobody does first time, you just...you know. Get it under your belt. First notch...on the old...whatever.

MATTHIEU

I’m actually fine without.

STEPHANIE

Yeah. Me too.

They stare in silence.

STEPHANIE

Does...er...does she have a name, then?

Stephanie gestures to Matthieu’s tablet.

MATTHIEU

(reluctantly)

Isabella.

STEPHANIE

That’s...a nice name.

MATTHIEU

Yeah.

(beat)

What’s...er...what’s your name?

STEPHANIE

Steph. I mean, Stephanie, but...people call me Steph.

MATTHIEU

For short.

STEPHANIE

Yeah. For short.

MATTHIEU

I’m Matthieu.

STEPHANIE

Hi Matthieu.

They almost smile at each other.

Look...sorry I...took the piss. I...

MATTHIEU

S’ok.

STEPHANIE

I suppose it’s just...

MATTHIEU

Yeah.

(a beat, then standing up angrily)

It’s their fault. It is.

STEPHANIE

Oh...yeah. I mean. Yeah. Right.

MATTHIEU

We’re so fucking...they’ve made us so...I dunno...I dunno what...we’re just so fucking...

STEPHANIE

(deliberately)

Fraught. And alone.

MATTHIEU

(clicking his fingers)

Yeah. That’s it. That’s it. That’s exactly it.

Fraught and alone.

STEPHANIE

The illusion of connection.

MATTHIEU

What?

STEPHANIE

No, it’s just...something I heard. All these...things we have. Devices. Networks. They give us the illusion of human connection but just...isolate us. That’s why we’re like we are.

Matthieu nods in agreement, if a little confused.

They both think.

They both laugh.

MATTHIEU

You know, I...really thought this was gonna be awkward. But it’s not awkward really, is it. Not now.

STEPHANIE

No. Just have to get through it.

MATTHIEU

Yeah.

STEPHANIE

It’s not awkward at all.

The speaker comes to life.

CARMEN

Thank you for watching the film. If you wish to physically connect with one another during your Setsuzoku session, you will find lingerie, lubricants and assorted pleasure enhancers in the cabinet to the left of the door.

An awkward pause.

STEPHANIE

Now...it’s a bit awkward.

MATTHIEU

Yeah. Yeah it is.

A pause.

Stephanie looks around the room.

STEPHANIE

Look at this. They got it so wrong, didn’t they?

Matthieu nods.

You know, I heard that for every second of physical contact you make, you get one minute off of your session. As a...reward.

MATTHIEU

I’m not gonna...

STEPHANIE

No...god no. I mean...

(beat)

Maybe if I just...touched your hand for a bit? We could...get back to our lives...?

Matthieu fidgets uncomfortably.

He thinks and nods.

Stephanie delicately goes to put her hand on his.

Matthieu jerks his hand away at the last moment.

MATTHIEU

(nervously)

Let’s just sit here until it’s finished.

STEPHANIE

Sure. Yeah, no that’s fine.

(beat)

When is that?

Matthieu thinks.

MATTHIEU

I don’t know.

They sit in silence for a time.

Matthieu picks up his tablet.

I’ll look it up.

Lights slowly fade.

’WHEN TWO WORLDS COLLIDE’ by Chas & Dave plays.

BLACKOUT.

James Graham kicks off WikiTheatre

And we're off! Hot off the press, you can read James Graham's opening to our piece of WikiTheatre exclusively, here on the brand new nabokov website. For the details of what to do next, read our previous blog post about our pioneering new idea, and don't forget to book your tickets to NABOKOV RE-LOADED on Sunday 10th November at Soho Theatre.

James has taken inspiration from a story about young people's relationships in Japan. You can read the article here: http://www.theguardian.com/world/2013/oct/20/young-people-japan-stopped-having-sex

Enjoy - we look forward to your creative responses!

 

         A Cabaret bar.

Lights hit a woman, Carmen, sat on a stool.

She, somewhat reluctantly, begins to sing…

Suddenly the lights snap to –

A room.

         A Man in a suit. Carmen is stood there, agitated.

 

Man:                  Please.

Carmen:   Please what?

Man:         Please. Sit down.

Carmen:   Why?

Man:         You don’t have to be so susp-… you’re very suspicious.

Carmen:   Suspicious?

Man:                  You don’t have –

Carmen:   Seriously?

Man:                  Please.

Carmen:   You arrested me –

Man:                  We did not arrest you, we –

Carmen:   You –

Man:                  We kidnapped you -- I’m kidding –

Carmen:   … I …

Man:                  I’m kidding, please. Sit down.

Carmen:   Please don’t joke, I’m not able –

Man:                  OK­

Carmen:   I can’t tell what’s a joke or not right now, so –

Man:                  Please.

Carmen:   (beat. She sits).

Man:                  (he sits).

Carmen:   You just, you turn up out of nowhere, your goons –

Man:                  Goons?

Carmen:   Turn up at my house –

Man:                  They’re civil servants.

Carmen:   Bundle me into a car –

Man:                  The Eurostar.

Carmen:   No information, no nothing –

Man:                  First class.

Carmen:   I’ve got a life back home you know, I’m actually, I’m, I’m actually something of a –

Man:                  We know. Of course we know. That’s why you’re here.

Carmen:   What accent is that?

Man:         Mine? Let’s just call it European.

He could open some bottled water or something, and pour them each a glass.

Man:         I was raised in a small town outside of Bern, in Switzerland. Bumpliz. Do you know it?

Carmen:   Erm, no.

Man:         I’m aware it may reconfirm unhelpful national stereotypes but my mother was a chocolatier. A brilliant one. Contrary to what your expectations of having a chocolating mum might be, it was not some pleasant idyll. Chocolate making is a merciless, ruthless, competitive world where the hard survive and the weak are destroyed. My mother was a coldblooded, ambitious chocolate entrepreneur and nothing or no one stood in her way.

Carmen:   Why are you telling me this?

Man:         You seem anxious, I’m trying to break the ice.

Carmen:   ...

Carmen:   So while my Swiss mother made chocolate, my Swiss father–

Carmen:   Made clocks?

Man:         … was in the military. He moved us around an inordinate amount in my formative years. To Frankfurt, and to Krakow. Vienna.

Carmen:   What kind of army covers Germany and Poland and Austria?

Man:         The NATO kind. I’m trying to explain the origins of my somewhat ‘unfocused’ accent.

Carmen:   And this is Brussels? Here, now; you’ve brought me to –

Man:         This is Brussels, yes. My home. I have laid roots, something my family never could. How about yourself?

Carmen:   What?

Man:         Your turn. Where are you from? One place or more places?

Carmen:   I’m not arsed about breaking the ice, actually, if we can –

Man:         OK –

Carmen:   - you know, just cut the – get to the –

Man:         Sex.

Carmen:   …

Man:         That’s the point. That’s why you’re here. Sex.

Carmen:   … I don’t do that anymore –

Man:         Sorry?

Carmen:   - and actually I never did that, really, those stories are – they exaggerate my –

Man:         I know.

Carmen:   I’d like to leave now, please.

Man:         People are stopping. They’re stopping doing it. Young people. They’ve stopped having sex.

Carmen:   I’m pretty sure that’s not the case –

Man:         I know that it runs contrary to our assumptions about the world. The permissive, boundary-less, want-it-now society. Online pornography. Jeremy Kyle. MTV. VH1. Miley Cyprus –

Carmen:   Cyrus.

Man:         Miley Cyrus.

Carmen:   What is this; this list makes no sense.

Man:         (handing her a file). The problem is of such severity in Japan, that the Government is being forced to take action in an area of human life normally beyond the moral remit of the state. Except China, of course, but China should only be ever considered the exception in everything.

Carmen:   What’s –

Man:         Japan are enveloped – is that how you say this?

Carmen:   Enveloped, yes –

Man:         - enveloped in a celibacy crisis and it’s a contagion that is spreading to Europe too. Singleness amongst under 40s has increased by 10% in five years, and nearly half of women under the age of 25 are not interested or are even actively disgusted by sex. Fewer babies were born this year than any other year since people could be bothered to count. Is this not a good thing you might think?

Carmen:   I’m not thinking anything, actually, I’m –

Man:         No it is not a good thing. No, it is not a good thing. Physical and emotional intimacy is economically vital. Across Europe, single house occupancy is rising so alarmingly, it is simply impossible to sustain. There is not enough space for people to not love one another. Do you understand.

Carmen:   Why is it happening?

Man:         Why?

Carmen:   Do you have stats, facts, reasons as to why it is happening?

Man:         We have conjecture. Changing gender roles, a flight from the traditional family, a change of priorities toward work, money, achievement, success. Social media or rather unsocial media transforming human relationships from something that used to be tactile, physical, into something abstract, apart. Pornography. The pleasure that a person may have on their own the same as or greater than the pleasure one has to share between people. Cities. Option paralysis. And yes, Miley Cyprus –

Carmen:   Cyrus.

Man:         Cyrus.

Carmen:   And I’m here because.

Man:         Your books.

Carmen:   Ah.

Man:         They are bestsellers.

Carmen:   So I’m told.

Man:         Congratulations.

Carmen:   Thank you.

Man:         You self published.

Carmen:   At first.

Man:         The modern world.

Carmen:   Yes.

Man:         The things one can do alone.

Carmen:   That’s one way of looking at it.

Man:         What’s another way?

Carmen:   That over 40 million people have shared something I did.

Man:         Yes, shared something.

Carmen:   Yes.

Man:         On their own.

Carmen:   …

Man:         They’re very … ‘racy’.

Carmen:   It’s not porn.

Man:         I know.

Carmen:   I'm sick of people saying it’s porn. There’s nothing to be ashamed of about sex.

Man:         I agree – you’re arguing with the wrong person, I agree so very very hard. Your series of books. They have certainly set loins on fire across the globe. We think you’re the person for the job. Not just because of your literary output but because…

Carmen:   Of my past.

Man:         Yes.

Carmen:   I’m not ashamed.

Man:         I know.

Carmen:   You can’t blackmail me with it.

Man:         I know.

Carmen:   If I hadn’t worked in the sex trade I couldn’t have written these books.

Man:         I know.

Carmen:   And there’s a difference between – ‘that’, and, and what I did –

Man:         Carmen. I know.

Carmen:   What exactly do you need me to do?

Man:         The European Union, we like our schemes. Big projects. Well funded. As this one shall be. As our ‘Sex Tzar’ for the UK, Ireland and the Low Countries, you will have a large budget and a fully trained team beneath you. We suggest you begin by meeting a group of individuals we have selected and –

Carmen:   And?

Man:         And listen to them. Understand them. Advise them.

Carmen:   Therapy.

Man:         It doesn’t need a name. This is – this project is ‘off the books’, as it were. Under the radar. A Black OP.

Carmen:   And what am I meant to get them to do?

Man:         Touching. Would be a good start. The young people of the world have retreated into their one bed apartments, to their computers, and into themselves. They’re not touching one another any more. It would be great if you could get them to touch.

 

Lights down.

 

nabokov presents WikiTheatre at nabokov Re-Loaded

Get ready for a brand new piece of theatre, started by celebrated writer James Graham (This House) - and finished by you! ‘Wiki’ – a web application which allows people to write content in a collaboration with others.

‘Theatre’ – dramatic performances as a branch of art.

WikiTheatre is your chance to work with one of the UK's most exciting writers in a brave new theatrical experiment to be performed LIVE at our relaunch party - NABOKOV RE-LOADED on Sunday 10th November at Soho Theatre.

Here's how it works:

1. James Graham will write the OPENING to a brand new 15 minute piece of work. It might be a scene, a monologue or some lyrics. Whatever it is, it's just a beginning.

2. Then anyone can pick up the torch. By emailing content to hello@nabokov-online.com, YOU can offer the next piece of the puzzle. It can be anything. A follow on scene, a piece of dance, music, poetry, cabaret, verbatim script; absolutely anything as long as it is no more than 5 minutes long and is a response to and evolution of the previous part.

3. From all the submitted suggestions, we'll select and publish PART 2 on Friday November 1st, and then we'll throw it open again for submissions to offer the FINAL PART of the jigsaw. Again, we'll be looking for innovative, intelligent and creative ideas that respond and develop the previous sections. Each part must only be 5 minutes long. We'll publish the finished pieces, in whatever forms they have been submitted, on Thursday 7th November. If we use your work we'll use it unedited and in its entirety, with your name attached or not as you wish.

4. And then the world's first ever WikiScript is complete! On SUNDAY NOVEMBER 10th at NABOKOV RE-LOADED we'll premiere the full 15 minute piece LIVE to our audience at Soho Theatre.

So, get ready for a piece of collaborative theatre full of all the radical energy and glorious democracy of the internet generation...

Book your tickets to NABOKOV RE-LOADED, on Sunday 10th November at 4pm, using the link below:

http://www.sohotheatre.com/whats-on/nabokov-re-loaded